8/6/09

Everyones snoring and grinding their teeth away. I'm just losing my mind.

Sobered up and can't sleep, and my nightmares seem to start before I fall asleep and as soon as I do, they wake me up. I've been having problems with psychosis as well, just about everything is fucked up now, every single, small, little, miniscule, minor detail, everything is off.

Everyone (my sister, her boyfriend, and my mother) are all asleep. We're in a hotel room on the bottom floor with a huge window overlooking the beach and we can just walk outside whenever and be on the beach, I'm sitting next to the window and it's brutally dark outside and had been storming all day. I watched an old man walk all alone outside down to the beach looking very pathetic, almost as pathetic as i feel right now, I never saw where he went but it was dark and stormy and I feel as though he may have just killed himself. I'll pick up a newspaper tomorrow and see that this guess was true and feel horrible. Not that I didn't help him, he saved himself but just feel depressed about life even more so in every way, as I do when just about anything happens.

I just told Jon I may let him read all this one day, I'm dreading that day :P.

Cold And Ugly - Tool

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