Let's just call this August 9th...

No internet connection - (posted late)
No plan for this post, just going to ramble and clear my head a bit.

I’m sitting in my car outside a gas station to get some redbull and such for the rest of our drive to Toronto. We just stayed in Niagara Falls last night, the same hotel as the last time I visited there. Before this, I’d stopped in Syracuse and bought just some pants and a Pink Floyd shirt, and kept driving. I feel as though I’ve driven this last month away. Although I think it’s been a week, I’m never really sure.

When driving by the falls this morning, I watched as all the stupid people took pictures and walked up and down the sidewalk- enjoying their dumb and typical lives.
I’m used to just looking around big crowds and hating every disgusting human in it and feeling so unattached from myself and everyone around me.
Anyways, the point of this was... You know the feeling you get when you look at those really old people who look like they may just collapse or die when you look at them? The ones who you wonder what they are still living for, the ones with a minimum of 10 diseases and no future left? The ones that probably have no friends or spouse because they are all dead… But they continue to live their lives, waking up every morning, going out for groceries and that’s pretty much all except when they go to church to pray for everything they’ll never have again. They just wallow about in self pity, while we all pity them too. I would just kill myself, but when I see them walking around I want to just kill myself anways, I feel sick to my stomach and not because I feel bad for them- but because it disgusts me. This is what humans are, what they all become. Then we all die and turn into waste and soil. We’ll soon cover the whole earth in graveyards and hopefully the human race will just die off and this earth will become a peaceful shithole of nothing.
Again I got off track a bit, what I was going to say was that there was a man in some Christian shirt who looked about 90 and probably weighed just that much, pushing around his fat old wife in a wheelchair. Trying to enjoy what they have left of their lives I guess, pathetic as it was to watch… This man collapsed somehow pulling the wheelchair back, ending in a tragic horrendous and just sickening reality. The woman smacked her head on the cement so hard as the man toppled on top of her, fortunately then I drove off as a crowd of idiots swarmed them.
I was laughing for a little long I guess as me and my sister joked around a bit about it, she was mostly sympathetic but when I laughed for so long and made cold heartless comments, I sort of took the joke too far. She called me a bad person, and I know to her I am, she doesn’t know the half of what goes on in my head. But I feel as though I’m not, years ago when I was naïve and innocent I would have thought myself to be a scary, heartless, psychotic bitch. But you can’t say this about anyone until you can get in their heads. See what makes them this way; it’s probably you and the rest of the world. You fucking shitface!

The white noise of the tires on the asphalt and my Sisters steady asleep breaths, oh and the GPS we’ve named Carl.